Note to self: Don't fall in love with terrible...
Just had a realization - I made a wish about 4...
I'm in Reuters! →
My heart's shattered in a million pieces and the...
All you can do in life is be a good person. It's...
The universe will reward you in it’s own way for it.
Sometime when you least expect it, you’ll realize that someone loved you, and...– — Homer Simpson (via mikegermano)
I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming,...– Carrie Bradshaw (via tumblrlicious)
Famous Last Words
I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone. “Honey, if you stay, I’ll be forgiving.” Nothing you can say could stop me going home. A life that’s so demanding, I get so weak. A love that’s so demanding, I can’t speak.
When you have an opportunity to remove yourself...
That’s my perspective, at least.
Some days, man. Some days.
How do these lackluster, stupid people end up with such sweet jobs? It’s really upsetting to think about it.
I don’t like being single. I live a fantastic life, full of magical things, and...– Katy Perry
My company is rich, biatch! $4 million buxxx in... →
Star Trek made a lot of freakin' money this... →
dearoldlove: When I ran into you with your wife for the first time, I was carrying a 3-pack of granny panties at Costco. Not at all how I planned it.
It’s perfect. It’s a match made in iPhone.– Arshad Tayyeb
This conversation actually took place tonight.
me: how is corey?
ben: alright, he's taking a job with a Nigerian prince to go to Nigeria for 3 months and shoot a documentary
ben: in other words, still hustling
me: are you f*cking kidding me?
**note: i fact-checked this and IT IS TRUE. i thought nigerian princes were the stuff of spam emails but apparently this is a true story. what. the. hell?
Tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef, that I’m a vegetarian...
Iran president seeks second term →
ashponders: Which isn’t really all that unexpected, what is however is that: the former Revolutionary Guards chief, Mohsen Rezai, registered his candidacy. Which could spilt the conservative vote, which among other things could lead to Reformists taking the lead in the election. Exciting things happening in Iran.
me: oh wow!
mikey: not oh wow
mikey: what you just told me is oh wow
mikey: this is small time baby girl shit
mikey: i'm rolling around in pampers over here and you're flying by in personal jets
mikey: while shopping for more jets
This is my 1,000th Tumblr post.
Tegan and Sara - Walking With a Ghost No matter...
Sad but true.
Brian: Which is why my last relationship ended.
Me: Relationship? wtf is that?